Monday, May 11, 2009

Being a Mother

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I talked to each one of my kids. Mother's Day brought back many wonderful "mother memories". Mother's Day used to be my unfavorite day of the year. Besides making sure each of Ralph's and my mother were appropriately taken care of, we sat in church and listened to some mother talk about how angelic motherhood was. At our house that morning we had panic because we couldn't even find the hairbrush. I'm not going to subject you to the same thing but I would like to list some of my favorite "mother memories". I'll admit there were times I knelt by each child's bed after they were asleep and wet their pillow with my tears because I felt like such a falure or wondered why I had childen in the first place because it was so hard when they were growing up. However, it is kind of like childbirth. You can't remember what the labor pains felt like, just the joy when you held the little one in your arms.
I remember an article in the Children's Friend magazine when I was young about a little girl who couldn't make up her mind what she wanted to be when she grew up. One day she wanted to be a teacher and the next day she thought she wanted to be a nurse. There were many other aspirations so she asked her mother for some advice. Her mother explained that they were all good ideas but a mother will be all those things to her children. I have felt like I have accomplished and become good at many things in my life but I still have much to learn as a mother.

Favorite Motherhood Memories

I remember my first time sitting beside my son, wearing his cub scout uniform, in church on "Scout Sunday" and listening to him sing a patriotic song.

I remember watching my oldest daughter give birth to her first child and the many sacrifices she made to ensure that the child thrived.

I remember a weekend when the family had planned to go somewhere but I was at my emotional rope's end so a teenage daughter stayed home with me while the rest of the family went. We layed in the grass in the orchard to talk and went to a garden tour together. At the end of the weekend my "cup" was filled again and I could face life.

I remember a gift on Mother''s Day from a grade school daughter. It was in a small white box with a note that said, "Open me, it will be a BLAST!" Inside was a paper clip that had been bent so one could make it jump.

I remember a mother's day when after the "Breakfast in Bed" tradition my ostensible gift was a red vacuum. Throughout the day each child gave me an unknowing gift. My teenagers sat on the stairs and talked to a discouraged mother, and my gradeschooler came out of her bedroom dressed for church with a big smile on her face. She said, "Look, Mom. I am wearing tights." Every Sunday before, putting on the tights had been a big fight.

There are many other memories that make me smile and give me comfort and peace. Now, I love watching my own children be parents. It confirms what I believed when my young children used to ask, "Why can't I go to daycare like all the other kids at school?" I used to think and I still do, "Why should somebody else have all the fun!"

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